i love you

I have never thought that loving someone could be so  complicated... In the olden days, (ignore the Shakespeare) it used to be easy.. (i think). i mean, u fall in love.. and be happy ever after. FULL STOP. ENd of story. But that's not the case nowadays. there's a lot to think about. And when i say alot..it's alot!! there's the 

- does his/her parents like me?

- do i get along with his/her siblings?

- and to make things worse, are we from the same place/state? 

- and of course the infamous religion thing.... i feel like the Indian "kasta" system. Date or in that case marry only with your people..

I am though speaking through experience..i have never thought that i would be in the same situation..i mean i used to think that LOVE was easy...be together, break up that sort of thing...not the "are we even allowed to be together" but nevertheless we ended up together. it's just one of those things that u just cant ignore u noe.. The feeling is so strong and dominant that i succumbed to defeat and followed what my heart tells me to do. And I know, we cant easily trust our heart to think for us...but L.O.V.E is a matter of the heart. so i THINK i was right to follow my heart..despite what people may say. It's my prerogative. >.<>

I love my boo a lot and i couldn't think of even 1 day without him in my life. He's the one who is always by my side, helping me though ups and downs, withstanding all of my tantrums, being patient with me, and most of all for loving me for who I am (i know its all cliche but its true) And for that I am truly blessed. I really hope that i wont wake up one morning to find out he's not a part of my life anymore. that would be unbearable. Just thinking about it makes me shudder and cry.

I don't know what will happen in the future but all i know is that my feelings are true. No one is perfect but to me he is perfect enough. 

atmosphere, kk

keningau, sabah

cam whoring as usual :) love u babe

kinabalu park, kundasang

i just love this pic... <3

nearly forgotten emotion...damm...

okay...so its 4.25 am on a saturday morning...im supposed to finish my study...but then i thought why don't i take a few minutes break and see what's happening in the internet world..lolz...so i ended up FB-ing...then i browse through some pics my friend uploaded....and low and behold i came across pics of people that i have been out of contact with for eons... a rush of memories, emotions good and bad starts flooding back. The memories that i tried tucking in the closet, never to re-open it again, never to even think about it all came like a typhoon...huge waves crashing down on poor little unarmed and unprepared me. :( 

Man, i'm not lying when i say i had palpitations and tachycardia just looking at the names and pics...okay i may sound like im exaggerating but i'm not! why is it hard to forget?? urggh...

humans have methods of coping with memories that is maybe too painful to re-live again or too disastrous...i guess my way of coping with it is to never think about it. if you think about it ur doomed! trust me..i've been there done that.

I still feel hurt, i know that it wont go away.. i know that it will leave a scar, but i can't help wishing things were different back then. regrets, regrets, regrets.... :(

those were the days when I was "young"...LoL it makes me sound old..;p

anyway, i guess my point is that i thought i had done pretty well in blocking away painful memories but i just found out that no matter how hard i try it'll still make a wave in my life. guess im not doing a good job then......:( 

exam fever...

im proud to say that i haven't got the exam fever YET! im still slacking as usual.... but i desperately need the adrenaline rush, the stress and tension so i can study effectively...i really really need it to help me memorise...nothing compares to working under pressure..seriously it works!!

man....there's 4 modules and i have only partially covered 1 and a half? huhu :( help? 

im now trying the spot question method since there's not much time left...will it work? i have totally no idea...and to make things worse, i failed 2 of my subjects! and i have a feeling im gonna fail the latest test as well..super hard test with unexpected questions..!!!

huhu....studying last minute is sooooo torturing....okay i know im not suppose to study last minute..no excuse for that except laziness...:( 

i vow not to study last minute again next sem!!! promise...uhuhu... 

okay now that im thinking straight, i do have exam fever!!! oh man im so ooo gonna fail...plus supplement exam...waaaa help!!

okay i need to go study my ass off now..gosh!!!! ok no more blogs, fb or any unnecessary things....buhbye!!

will let u noe my exam result as soon as i get it.ghuhuhuh

wish me luck!!!